“I am the very model of a true Episcopalian
My prayers are always eloquent and quite sesquipedalian
There’s no aroma I love more than massive clouds of frankincense
Preferably in quantities that smoke out all the Protestants
I know when to sit and stand and bow and cross myself and take a knee
I’m catholic as catholic can be, but only with a little “c”
I’m often a participant in elegant processionals
“All may, some should, none must” is my policy on confessionals
I tie my cincture flawlessly and swing a golden thurible
I do not find guitars in church to be at all endurable
Half of my friends are clergy and the rest are seminarians
I am a Lenten faster and a Friday pescetarian
My faith is based on scripture, on tradition, and on reason
My calendar is color-coded, based upon each Christian season
I am a huge proponent of the fairer sex’s ordination
And I’m fairly certain incense IS a matter of salvation
I love the Blessed Virgin but I’m iffy on the Vatican
His social views make me so glad that God blessed us with Katharine
“O Holy Night” on Christmas Eve hits me right squarely in the feels
I’ve been a designated driver at a parish potluck meal
My greatest goal on Sunday is to beat Baptists to restaurants
I’ve a fear pathological of sitting in pews near the front
I’ve learned the creeds by heart and I have memorized the catechism
I walk the via media and I’m quite proud of my Anglicanism
And though some might think much of my behavior rather alien
I am the very model of a true Episcopalian”
10 thoughts on ““A True Episcopalian” (with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance)”
David Engelby
Thanks – sums it up for me 🙂 Proud to be an Episcopalian!
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Marsha Haaser Tejeda
LOVE IT!! I am a true Episcopalian as ell AND I’ve directed middle schoolers in all of the “big three” G&S operettas so this is especially fun for me! Great job!
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Robert Hough
I left my beloved Episcopal church after it became politically correct. I was fortunate enough to find an Anglican Catholic church in my community which allowed me to follow the traditions in which I was raised. Traditions do not always need to be changed.
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Anna Marion Howell
Not really impressed with your “politically correct” complaint. I’m a gay Episcopal woman who loves the Church and particularly thinks Bishop Katharine hung the moon. Color me politically correct.
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Marti
Anna, I stand besides you in your comment. I too am a gay Episcopal woman and love Bishop Katharine. Politically correct? You betcha!
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michaelmornard
😀 😀
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Kemp Williams
Anna, Do you know the provenance of the stained glass window on this page? It looks just like the narthex window in my church, Grace Episcopal in Alexandria, Virginia.
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doubleinvert
No guitars in church? What about my bass? Technically it’s a bass guitar, but …?
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David Spring
As an Episcopal musician who has conducted “Pirates of Penzance” a couple of time, I love your lyrics… and your overall sense of humor as part of your love for the church. Would it be ok to share with my choir?
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